Yes, I know.. It's been a while since my last post, and I apologize.I have been keeping busy at my grandpa's greenhouse where I have the wonderful opportunity to take care of God's beautiful creation. And it's been a hard couple of weeks on top of my busy work schedule. Why? Well, after a few months of on and off thinking, (plus loving advice, Godly from my discipler, Lindsey) my boyfriend and I decided to break up after 4 and a half years together.
And I tell you, Jotters...it's been rough.
But sometimes God calls our hearts in a different direction than what we think is best for ourselves. Many times we pull away from His guiding hands and tell Him "I'm doing to do this MY way!". But what benefit has that ever brought to anyone who thinks that their way will produce a better result than those who know which plan will work more in their favor?
Trusting God is one of the best tools we can use to guide us along the unknown paths of life that send our hearts in states of panic and despair. When we reach the point of panic, we find ourselves lost and afraid because we thought we could handle it all on our own. And to our surprise, our way comes out with the results opposite of what we wanted! Sure, sometimes we get lucky, because God isn't a total bully when it comes to matters of the heart. He knows how much heartbreak hurts, and often times He allows us to pass safely through the way we thought best for us, but this in turn eventually leads us back to where God actually wants us to be.
Take my situation: I knew that my boyfriend and I were heading down different roads once we both headed our separate ways to colleges miles and miles apart. God had been whispering my name for years because I had fallen off the path of righteousness to please myself the way I thought would satisfy my heart. Instead of pursuing God through the relationship to satisfy my desire for love, I pursued my boyfriend instead. I leaned on him to keep me steady and strong even though he had no way of knowing the true desires of my heart and couldn't possibly fill my heart the way I needed. God delivered me through my rebellion more times than I deserved, and I narrowly escaped many close calls with heartbreak when I should've been left to wallow in deception I created that God didn't have a clue what I needed.
Thankfully, God gave me a major wake-up call and called me back to the straight and narrow path through my good friend and discipler and the wonderful bible studies and weekly meetings offered by Campus Crusade on campus. God sent me message after message of His love and importance to obey, because He saw the dangerous, ungodly road I was headed for. I felt guilt and pain from my decision to turn my face away from God, but He nurtured my heart and showed me Jesus' love was the answer, rather than scolding me back into His arms. He reminded me that I could trust Him through the heartbreak I knew I eventually needed to face, and that obeying Him would lead me to peace and a satisfied heart.
God calls all of us and challenges all His children to trust and obey Him. Sometimes He allows us to walk on dark and uncertain paths of sin in order for us to learn that we can't depend on our human selves to see our way through, we need God's light to shine and show us the way. Because we are like small children when it comes to understanding God, He allows our selfish and childish ways to make silly mistakes and thoughtless actions so that we may possess a greater understanding of why God is the only one we can depend on to satisfy.
"And this is the command: to believe in the name of His son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey His commands live in Him, and He in them. And this is how we know that He lives in us: We know it by the Spirit He gave us." -1 John 3: 23-24
When we surrender ourselves to God and trust in His omnipotent power, He shows us and rewards us for our obedience to Him. God loves us enough to carry us through any storm we face. Though He may see it best for us to walk through the storm rather than around it, He knows what is best for us and He will eventually show us His reasoning. Because you must always remember: "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey." (John H. Sammins)
Love, Trish
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